I was reading an article on blogging today when I realized that I hadn't written in a really long time. I've been avoiding writing in this space for a few weeks now and being incredibly busy proved to be a good excuse. However, that is not the real reason why I haven't written.
The prospect of sharing intimate things with an unknown audience gives the same kind of comfort that one gets from talking to a therapist. Or so I thought earlier. I started writing to have a space where I could say what I wanted to, but soon I started wondering about being judged on the content and the writing and since have had some amount of performance anxiety which has kept me away from here.
Blogging is like walking the tight rope- there's a perfect balance one needs to keep to appreciate it and be appreciated on it. I feel vulnerable, exposed and afraid of expressing myself, which is really why I started blogging in the first place. The first few times I wrote, it was an adrenalin rush. As I started writing more, it started becoming scary and I felt this fear of not being good enough for the blogger world. I'm now inhibited and tend to think too much before typing away. I wish someone would tell me why that 'x' is the reason why I should blog. I think if it were that black and white it would make things easier.
It's ironic that while I'm typing, the only thing I can think of is "what's the purpose of this blog?"
